It's me or the dog.

Dear Victoria Stillwell,

Whenever I need a pick-me-up, I always know that you'll provide a smile on It's Me Or The Dog on Animal Planet. You're amazing sense of style, shameless updo's and ponytails, random outbursts and totally practical training methods have made me realize something very important- I am in love with you. And I don't even have a dog. You're like a female, dog-training Rocco DiSpirito and I'm hott for you.

If you're ever in Southeast Virginia, please, for the love of all that is good, look me up.

Cordially yours,

X-topher